| 'No weapons formed
against me shall prosper', a Bible scripture, was not
something I have always believed or confessed. In
fact, the spirit of addiction was the only thing prospering
in my life! I thank God, everyday, for my deliverance,
through the Name of Jesus. Most importantly, I know
that weapons - addictions, temptations, degradation, etc.,
are of the enemy. I have learned to live with myself
and love Maria regardless of what others have to say.
My self-worth does not lie in the hands of
another.
My issues, among many, was
crack addiction. When in the grip of addiction, it is
very common to have more than one. In my case, I could
suppress one but I would substitute it with another.
So, in the article format, when the form asked, "what
was happening in the 'mean time'?" Well, in the
'mean time', I was poisoning myself with something else!
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were many circumstances, which lead up to the crack
addiction. (Notice how I do not call it my
crack addiction it was not mine to have). The
problem started at a very young age. Overwhelmed with
fear, I developed low self-esteem. This resulted in
co-dependency - to food, attention I would get from illness,
and later, relationships with men.
Constantly running from my
artistic talent, being loved was my only concern.
After a series of abusive relationships, which compromised
my conscience, morals and self-respect, I allowed myself to
be exploited, abused, and anything but loved! I began
to believe I wasn't worthy of love. My new dependency
choice - Men: men I thought I could change rebels, thugs,
and the slickest of the slick.
I wasn’t strong enough to
promote any kind of change and consequently fell victim to
more demons. Along came a whole spectrum of problems, deeper
and deeper I drifted and fell. I didn’t care, didn’t
dream, and really didn’t want to live. However, I was too
much of a coward for straight suicide.
I allowed the devil to steal
my 20’s. I walked away from a 4 year art scholarship I
earned in high school. I believed my mishaps were
irreversible and that I would never "be"
because of my early failures. After so many years of trials
and tribulations, beating my head into a wall, caught in a
rut; my husband, children, and I started attending church. I
began to offer my artistic talent and contributions to
beautify various festivities, functions, and venues. What
joy! I shared my testimony of God’s life altering power,
fervently and frequently. Unfortunately, sharing some things
only resulted in prejudice, a lot of judgment, and
mistreatment. Through it all, I continued to seek the Lord
and consequently received favor of the Lord!
A woman in the church, with
that "God kind of love", decided to bless me. She
invited me to her home, to decorate for Christmas – a
paying job! After a while, I began to get other small jobs.
A few people even made jobs for me just to keep me
encouraged. I gave all glory to God, soon the Lord started
showing off!
Slowly, although still in
fear of criticism, I decided to give it a go and actually
start a business. Through God, prayer, intercession, and of
course the support and help of my husband, I have
established my own business, "Maria Stuff".
I do advertising, portraits, greeting cards, murals, and
other artistic endeavors.
My faith is so much stronger
since I’ve received enlightenment through the Word. Before
enlightenment, I believed that God was putting me through
all my heartache! Now, I realize that God’s plan is about
us all prospering, being healed, walking in divine health,
overcoming odds, believing in and receiving deliverance and
most importantly, glorifying him through the testimony of
our lives! I thank God, in advance, for all the blessings I
will receive and I praise Him for the ones he has already
given! If you believe, you shall receive!
Everyday, I thank God for my
deliverance, through the name of Jesus. Most importantly, I
believe and know that no weapon formed against me shall
prosper. The weapons, addictions, temptation, etc. are
of the enemy!
I no longer do drugs or the
dirt it took to get them! I respect my body as a temple of
God. I realize God has a calling for me. Although I have
suffered and there are many years I can’t get back, unlike
some of the friends I’ve lost, through death; I still have
my life, talent and divinely provided opportunity! I feel it
is my job to tell others what God will do for them! I
believe sometimes we are our own worst enemy. Although we
may be held accountable and criticized for our past actions,
it’s time to stand up and be counted! It’s time
to share how it was and how it can be. If you have not, ask
Jesus into your heart and be set free! |
